you that there are a lot of life lessons that she taught me inadvertently too. On my website I state that I am a person who sees my feelings as apart from me not a part OF me. My feelings don’t define who I am because at every turn I have a choice to change the way I think about whatever I am facing.
We all know the saying ‘life isn’t fair’ but let us reflect for a moment. Why do we say that? Well, probably because we had a plan and things didn’t quite go as we expected. We had hopes and dreams and something happened to put a spanner in the works for a while. So breaking it down further, we feel disappointment, resentment, sadness, anger and frustration. Can you see how we have set ourselves up to be dependent on feeling good IF we get what we want? And if we don’t we somehow refuse to see how the unfolding of events can be seen in a positive light. We all do it, so it’s not that unusual – hindsight teaches us in time to see how we are in some cases spared the consequences of our unfulfilled desires at that time.
“It is easier to act yourself into a new way of feeling rather than feel your way into a new way of acting.” – G. D. Morgan
I have to smile at this quote above because it reminds me of times when I used to dress up as a fairy and dance around under the trees and I remember feeling elated and part of fairyland. So what does this teach us about how we can manage our experiences in our day to day lives? For starters, let’s look at a famous saying from Ghandi – “BE the change you want to see in the world”. Start acting as a giver, a changer of lives and slowly but surely you will start to feel like that which you are wanting to be. If you are sad and long to be happy, act as you imagine a happy person would act. Start acting responsibly and you will begin to feel like people can count on you. Act as though you are confident, strong, prosperous, and healthy, in love, successful, beautiful, honest, and faithful and sure enough the feelings will follow.
The one thing that is certain is that emotions are ever changing and what’s more is that they are totally unreliable! So you feel unhappy / unfulfilled at work and suddenly hand in your resignation while in an emotional state of frustration. What then? Where to now? Now you have time on your hands (more than you may want after a while) and the realisation sets in that bills need to be paid, food needs to be bought and children’s school fees are due but there is no paycheque. Oh dear – you have been the victim of making a life changing decision while in an emotional state and not from a logically well thought of point of view. I bet we have all been there at some stage. Who of us haven’t
slammed the door on a friendship/relationship of any kind under heightened emotion and come to beg forgiveness after the fact? Understanding and not negating any feeling that you have which may govern your actions (and do in fact) we also need a clear head when deciding what action to follow.
Acting as you see yourself TO BE will help mute some of the negative emotions and steer you along a path more suited to happier wellbeing in general. When we were young, we didn’t know better. Now that we have grown, let’s start taking steps to becoming what we really see and hope ourselves to be. Act the part of a happy wife / husband. Act the part of a contented employee / satisfied employer. Act like a patient and caring parent. Act like the faithful partner. Act like each day is a blessing. Act like you are really listening to others. This weekend I want you to try this little theory out and let me know how it has helped you.