I have noticed that this is a time when there are so many different emotions running through our lives ranging from happiness to sadness. Not all of us are joyful or peaceful – nor will we feel such, for perhaps we have been broken by life and we are just bits of cracked china smashed on the floor right now.
Broken: having been broken, having given up all hope; despairing. Split, cracked, unrepairable, fracture.
"I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing" - Agatha Christie
Perhaps we have lost someone dear to us this past year – maybe even longer than a year but the memories tend to re-surface. Perhaps you have been through a divorce or separation. For some reason maybe your children have been taken from your care. You could be the one who is left in a desperate situation as a result of abuse and you had to run from where you thought was your forever home. You may have been involved in an unfortunate accident and you are rendered motionless or in a wheelchair, or bedbound – perhaps have even lost a limb. The scenarios are endless but I’m sure you get the gist of what I’m trying to portray here.
I can attest to what you must be feeling; that life isn’t fair, where are those who you need most? Sick and tired of being sick and tired - at the end of your tether. Angry at the world and everything in it. Feeling so lost that your inner soul physically aches within your chest. So helpless, wretched, torn, useless and directionless.
Some days there just is no explanation that satisfies your need for answers. As the days and months turn into years and the time passes, you dig yourself deeper into that hole and the pieces still lay on the floor of a life you wish you were living. Are you caught in this trap? Are you feeling lost and alone? Are you dreading the coming year end because of one or many reasons? Have you not managed to piece yourself together? Are you running in circles, keeping yourself busy so as not to think about things too much?
There is no perfect answer to your questions that will allay your burden. Sometimes we cannot see the reasons as to why things have turned out the way they have. All I know is that we have to find thankfulness somewhere in each day, even if it is a grateful thought that we are breathing and alive.
However and wherever we are, take a moment to stop the negative thoughts: the “why me?”, the “Oh dear not again”, the “Life is unfair” and enjoy sip for sip of your coffee, listen to that song on the radio, look outside and see the pretty flowers or trees or cars passing by – BREAK that cycle, because nobody else can do it for you. Life isn’t fair – nobody promised that it would be. There is no reason why you cannot start today on a new journey.
One thing I have learned through my own life is that if we keep looking in the rear-view mirror we miss out on what lies in front of us. Take heart dear reader, know that you are not alone, and that everything will work out just fine.