I realised something - and I wonder if anyone has ever thought of it the way I do. I am convinced that I'm not the first to come up with this reality check, and I would be interested to find out if you have:
You see when we first "fall"in love we are full of all sorts of hormones and needless to say we attach qualities to each other which we would love to see. This is called blind love for as time moves on the blinkers fall off and we are astounded to find out that this perfect person is anything but.
We find out that our significant other has unsavoury qualities which we never thought they would have! We find out that they are not as honest as they said they are - they lie and keep secrets. We discover that they are unscrupulous in business. We are bowled over because they are lazy couch potatoes. We didn't for a moment think they would be so overly emotional or unemotional. We thought they were wealthy - when in reality they are not. We imagined that they were always the innocent ones in past relationships.... then the truth came out. Whatever the discoveries down the line - we tend to be disappointed to some degree.
But having said this, I firmly believe that these discoveries are a good thing in the long run.
It teaches us more about our own need to WANT things to be super and happily ever after - Lesson:- nothing ever is.
It teaches us that humans do what works for them, no matter how. It is therefor up to us to decide what to do with the truths that we discover - Lesson:- Decide whether the walk on this path is the right one for you.
It teaches us that we are never to lose ourselves, not ever. We are reminded to guard our hearts. We have to keep that part of our vulnerability close or we will risk it being damaged. Lesson:- You are a whole person, you should not melt into another for any reason.
It teaches us that the disappointment in others is a sign, however big or small, that we should regroup. Lesson:- You learn what you can and cannot share.
I have realised that I don't want to be IN LOVE. There is something about that statement that is restrictive, consuming and capturing. This is NOT the nature of love. Love is not about you - should never be about you yet we USE it to fill those holes in our souls - Love is not selfish. Love is unconditional - it is supposed to let others be who they are, grow in the direction that is best for them (not for you). Unconditional love says its OKAY to be you, and you are to let me be me, totally and without reservation, and allow me to make my own decisions. Love says: I give you my hand, my advice, my theories, my thoughts - and if you choose not to take ANY of these, it is fine with me. Because I love you, I let you make your choices because I believe you know what is best for you.
I have realised that I want to be NEXT TO LOVE. I want to walk with love, talk with love, see things through my eyes with love, tap into love in order to give love or fill up with love, I want to understand with love and breathe with love - I want to be next to love.