In some aspects of my own life I find change very easy if the change is seen from my perspective as something that will add value to me in the long run. I remember giving up the bad habit of smoking. I just stopped. No aids, no therapy and no alternatives. I gave up dairy and wheat in the same manner. At the beginning of the year I decided that I would like to stop eating red meat to see if it would have any physical benefit, so I have not had even a slice of biltong since 1 January. So yes, change, initiated by myself, for myself is easy as pie. I'm resolute and determined as a person, so even if I have a craving for what I have chosen to give up, I don't give in. So far so good!
2017 was a year filled with changes within my space. Changes not initiated by me, for me. Slowly but surely things were thrown in my path that challenged me deeply and unbalanced my serenity. I'm not sure that I should put myself in the category of Self-help people - but this saying "that a change is as good as a holiday" didn't ring true in 2017. Change for me was terribly frustrating, unnerving and stressful. The thing I wanted brought with it a whole heap of new circumstances that I was not prepared for. The image in my head was not the reality I experienced.
Be that as it may, change is a process and I do find that it does get easier with time - however my quiet time, my ME time is so much more appreciated than it used to be. I have had to rearrange the ideas in my head of how I had imagined life at 54 would be. The end of January brings with it the completion of an Executive Coaching course which I had set as a goal years ago. It was out of my reach for so many years, and perhaps it came at the right time. I have to mention that even though the chaos I perceived / experienced was only in my head, my heart remained calm, through the storms. Which shows that I am sufficiently emotionally stable through it all even though it doesn't FEEL like it. So the process is thus: I weather the storms of emotional upheaval and wait for the head to figure out what needs to be done, then, with a calm and settled heart and head we soldier on.
So the worm is in the cocoon at present, not yet willing, able or equipped to emerge, stretch her wings and fly.