All of us have roles and responsibilities to deal with in our lives in the spheres of business and relationships of all kinds. We have to acknowledge too that we have to deal with the consequences of our decisions and actions. We have children to bring up, homes to pay off, careers to build and studies to complete. Things dont ALWAYS fall into place, there is some work to be done to set the ball in motion. We cannot buy a home of any sort if we dont have the financial means to do so for instance. And so it is with anything that we deal with. There is a certain amount of work involved in moving from one point to another. We can do what we can do and thereafter we have to let it be.
I have not walked a smooth road in the past and I used to feel that if I didnt have it ALL TOGETHER - BE IN CONTROL I would be a failure. I had a fear that if I let things slide they would all fall apart! Let me tell you that in some instances things fell apart even when I thought I had been in control! Ha ha.. the burdens I put myself under while believing all the while that I was in charge! I aged quickly, I got ill often, I lost a ridiculous amount of weight, I was cross all the time because things didnt go my way and people around me thought I was so strong and capable when in fact sometimes the walls were caving in.
Now there is something to be gained by walking a hard rocky road all by yourself having all this responsibility - I HAVE become a stronger less afraid person. I have learned that there is nothing I cannot do if I set my mind to it. So for that I am grateful and am able to enjoy the fruits of my labour however hard they were to come by. Oh, listen to the ego talking here when this isnt the point Im trying to make!! I digress.......
The greatest and hardest thing to do for me was to let go. Learn to trust that I had done all that I could and should and to let go and walk away. To convince myself that things will work out just fine. Maybe not in MY WAY but in the way that unfolds the best for every one. I mean, who gives me the right to PLAN another persons destiny? I may have the final say in where to invest my business finances but I dont control the exchange rate or the economy. There are some things that we have to just let go of.
It was one of the hardest things for me as a parent to let my children choose their own life paths. I was so protective, wanting only the best for them but I had brought them up as independent thinkers and individuals in their own right. I had tried to instill all the good things I knew but yet found it difficult to trust them to take the lead! However I managed to stand fast, drop my control and let them stand on their own feet. Yes they fell, but they got up, yes they bumped their heads but they learned their own lessons. How proud I am of them, how wonderful to stand on the sidelines now and watch how they master their todays and plan for their tomorrows. How amazing it is to see them realise their own potential. And what a lesson has it been for me too!
Love is not control - love is the unselfish all encompassing freedom to just let go and trust that things will work out for the best.