From retrenchment to death and everything in between. Car and home problems, health problems, financial problems, relationship problems..... how much am I supposed to have on my plate? I feel so demotivated and fed up! Where are those that call (or perhaps called) themselves my friends? Where is my tank of oxygen - Im sinking! I wonder if anyone will come to my funeral, I mean where are they now?
I sometimes wish that I could have a visit from my fairy godmother so I can wish for better times.
So here I sit alone at my laptop and wonder what to do, what to do.
I know that these situations are transitory. I know that in 5 years time I will look upon these happenings and remember the good, as I usually do. I know that there is light and love surrounding me - but I am in an emotional state and right now I have to BE sad, BE frustrated, FEEL the feelings and work through them. Feelings have a way of showing us so much about ourselves and although I am a left brained individual and can and usually do push the feelings aside there has to come a time where one has to acknowledge to oneself that it is OK to be NOT OK for a while.
What am I learning at this moment? Not too sure yet but to LET GO is certainly at the forefront. I am learning that in spite of my emotional state I have a passion and purpose in life to motivate and help others be the best they can be and without actually going through loss and pain how will I ever empathise with other people? My joy journal is never far, and my own mindset is still strong so I will get through this phase as I always do
And for those who doubt me, who frown upon me, I say take the beam from your own eye and focus on something else. I dont need you to tell me that Im having it rough - I know! I dont need you to tell me that you understand when you havent walked in MY shoes. I dont need you to talk behind my back... Please get your own life and live it. I dont need you to tell me you will call when you know in your heart you wont.
I still stand tall albeit on a shaky platform. Tomorrow will be better, and the day after better still.