From friends to family I hear the statement "You need to be married, time is running out, you are getting older and you dont want to be alone when you are old."
So where does this leave me? In a position to expose myself to putting up with a person who exhibits negative traits from abusive behaviour to unintelligent conversation just for the sake of not being alone? No thank you very much. I have to admit that there are cultural and social norms that are ingrained at an early age and we carry that through to our adult life. We expect our children to be married, have their own children and live happily. I on the other hand have never punted that to my own children. I have given them 1 thing to strive for - "Find what makes you happy and DO THAT"
1. People dont make you happy - been there, done that, got the T shirt
2. Money doesnt make you happy - had lots, lost lots - makes no difference
3. Material goods dont make you happy - had pretty things, they dont talk back
Do what makes you happy, gives you purpose and fulfilment and forget the rest! Who gives another person the right to say what is good or bad for you. Its your road, your lesson, your experience, your choice. So what have I learned from the 3 things above?
1. It just so happens that I choose to have positive people around me that treat me with respect, love and compassion. If you dont meet that criteria - you are not invited to share my life. I dont need to be married... what guarantee is that? I was married, my husband chose to die. What happened to my happy-ever-after? I married again, my husband fell in love with money -out of love with me and decided to re-arrange my face. What happened to love and respect, what happened to my happy-ever-after? Marriage is NOT a guarantee that you will not be alone or well taken care of.
2. I like wealth, I enjoy being able to go where I want to when I want to for as long as I want to, the money is a means to an end. If it is there, good! If it is not, good! My self worth is not governed by my bank balance. I have also learned that I cannot solve friends' monetary problems with my money... They will coming back for more - rather teach them to be spendthrift and take responsibility for their own finances.
3. I like to surround myself with nice things like pictures I have painted, good pieces of antique furniture and it gives me pleasure looking at them. If they are not around me tomorrow I will not fold or faulter - I will find more pretty things in time, it doesnt upset me so that I cannot function.
In short, I am learning my own lessons, carving my own niche in life. Keep your nose out of my affairs. I do not dance to the same tune as you because I am not you.
The contrasts between you and I make life interesting and we can learn from each other - let us co-exist and allow each to his own.