Embrace: An act of accepting something willingly, to take or clasp in the arms and press to the bosom.
“There is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost.” Martha Graham
Little did I realise that this very act would be my Achilles heel. I was known as a people pleaser, and quite well liked and recognised as a person who would go out of their way to assist. A dependable friend and colleague – the rock they needed. But who was I really? I had taken others truths as my own; I had no direction as I was always showing others the way. When asked what was it that I wanted out of life I had no concrete answer that felt truthful to me. I stole ideas from those around me and used them to define myself. I owned their goals; I owned the labels they used to describe me. However I was pretty lost and in a deep abyss – a non-entity. I could use all sorts of excuses to explain the way I was: upbringing, teaching, bad childhood experiences, bad relationships...yes valid as they are, they were my crutch, my reasons to feel like I needed to do more in order to feel more worthy. The only way to describe myself was an empty vessel, giving to others what I didn’t have. This was a catch 22 situation and to say the least it was definitely not serving me well in my walk through life.
While in a deep valley of despair, I realised that I had to acknowledge my contribution to this world if I were to ever grow and become more than I thought I was. It was as if the clouds moved away from the sun and I could finally see clearly when the realisation set in. I decided to travel a path to find out what made me motivated, inspired and energised. I had to start loving every aspect of ME and only me. May I say, a few bitter pills had to be swallowed - proverbially speaking, when I had to deal with the not-so-nice side of myself and, not getting too ahead of myself and egotistically riding on the positive aspects. But there is something wonderful about finding yourself at last. I found out that life was not about others, it was about ME being genuine and unadulterated with myself so that I can unconditionally love and accept another. It was about learning to love myself enough so that I could learn how to love and give love to someone - to give from a jar that was full not from an emptiness I needed others to fill.
I know that many of you have been and perhaps are still in the same situation I was: where your self-worth is left in the hands of someone else. Not to make light of the positive effects we derive from gratefulness, appreciation and acknowledgement as these are the motivations you so often need to feel accepted and loved. However you must realise just how important YOU are. That you DO matter, you DO count and there is nobody on this earth that can fulfil your role. Nobody can be YOU better than you yourself. And you owe it to yourself and those around you to be the best YOU you can be. The mere fact that you are alive is reason to believe that YOU are a cause for celebration! How about starting today with a new lease on life? Embrace yourself, love and cherish yourself. Find what moves you, discover the little nuances that make you unique and build from there. Break free of the boundaries of negative self talk by seeing a new way ahead.
This week I would like to challenge you to stop people pleasing for just a few weeks so that you can give with a heart full of love and worthiness and see what the reaction will be. I guarantee that your new found confidence will radiate to everyone that comes into contact with you. Best of all you might start loving and enjoying life – and will that be a bad thing? I think you owe it to yourself to try, try and try again – and as the cliché goes –YOU ARE WORTH IT