I am an advocate of watching the thinker, to choose positive, happy thoughts, to be honest with yourself above all and to seek new ways to grow as a person. Having stated that, I also am conscious and recognise that there are moments when we are not strong, when we feel overwhelmed and heavy-laden and the choice to think positively almost gets drowned out. It is hard to ‘get with the program’ until we have filled the cracks, gone the full circle to close that open loop and deal with what seems to be unfinished business or emotion. Time heals, we hear. If only we could open that pill box of ‘Time’ from the cupboard, take four tablets and move on with a healthier attitude-if only it were that simple.
Our lives are governed from nanoseconds to decades, but what is ‘Time’? Evidence is that man conceptualised it throughout the ages using various methods, astronomy, day & night and the tides.
Aristotle fundamentally linked the concept to change and movement. Sir Isaac Newton described it as a dimension, a fundamental structure of the universe therefore it must be possible for us to travel into the future and the past. Einstein postulated that time is relative, not absolute as suggested by Newton, but in later years after much deliberation concluded that past, present and future all exist simultaneously and we should think of reality as a four dimensional existence. I say to each his own theory, mine is that ‘Time’ is unable to be boxed, sealed, sorted and filed seeing as it is a concept which everyone perceives differently.
I was privileged this week to have words spoken in my ear by an elderly woman who in her wisdom and concern let me know that ‘this moment will pass’ because there is a time for everything. This gave me such comfort that it inspired this week’s Thought based on a bible verse which I am sure you all have heard if not read.
Ecclesiastes 3:1: To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
3:2: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
3:3: A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
3:4: A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
3:5: A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
3:6: A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
3:7: A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
3:8: A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace. The King James Bible
Let me take this and break it down a little for you: 3:2 shows that to appreciate the beautiful gift of life in its entirety means that we need to experience it from birth all the way to the conclusion of life (ending in death) is a full circle. Every experience has a beginning and an end. Let me repeat EVERY experience has a beginning and an end.
I have both in my personal and counselling experience observed that the passing of time, albeit lengthy and bothersome when we are upset, is a blessing in disguise. It is only human to wish that the bad moments pass quickly and the good stay longer!
When you are down, don’t you want that moment to pass quickly? When you hurt so badly and your tears seem to come from a bottomless pit do you cry for redemption, for someone to make it all better? When you lose everything important to you, do you regret things done or said and wish you could turn back the clock now? Sometimes when you are overwhelmed with anger and frustration there seems to be no quick way out of the mess you find yourself in. What if I say to you BE in that moment, experience it, feel it in its entirety until it is done? What if I were to suggest that you immerse yourself deeply for the express purpose of finding out more about yourself, your triggers and your vulnerabilities and that it is OK for now to BE sad, to BE angry, to BE hurt, to BE lost. What if I were to give you permission to do so for a while? What if I were to tell you that it is during this time that we heal to a point when we can say enough is enough and I will no longer allow this to mar my future?
We actually need to be grateful for the buffer of ‘time’, this undefined concept, for there are many things that we need to learn or be made aware of along the way. Lessons that at the time may seem unfair or even futile can lay the foundation to our future. Only when we feel loss are we appreciative of that which we have. Only when we are made aware of unacceptable traits in others are we prompted to move on. Only when we refrain from embracing bad habits are we able to embrace good ones. We cannot nor should not always squelch heavy emotions; we need to acknowledge the pain so we can experience the pleasure. Only when we sow (get to learn the lessons) can we reap the crop.
The gist of this message to you today is to give hope even in the midst of your turmoil. Take heart, this too shall pass, you will regain serenity, peace and healing. You will recover, stand taller and have the courage to face another day even though there may be fear in your heart.
Remember that as the ocean crashes on the shore, we need to learn to ride the waves... the good ones and the bad ones, and the current is always changing. Be cognisant and accepting that there is a time for every thing.